bioneural.net » humor

iPhone geotagging good for a laugh only

Bruce — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 08:59:23 +0000

Geotagging outdoors with the original iPhone—which uses triangulation of cell tower signals—seems to be as entertaining as some of the "productivity tools" in the App Store. In other words, laughably useless. While the iPhone did somewhat erroneously relocate a pavement sign to the North Sea shipping lanes, it also managed to pin a photo of a rose to within 1.4km of the actual location. How can it be so inconsistent, and are things really as bad as they seem? The new iPhone 3G features built-in GPS, which although limited at present offers the prospect of enjoying a growing number of location-aware applications. One of these is geotagging using iPhone's built-in camera, and the good news is that those with first generation iPhones can update to version 2.0 firmware and experience similar functionality. Similar, not the same—because the original iPhone contains no GPS receiver hardware, and for reasons unknown Apple's Bluetooth implementation is currently neutered so iPhone cannot be paired to a data logger. The image below was recorded in Chesterfield, pretty much in the middle of the UK. To plot the iPhone-geotagged location you'll need to download the images using iPhoto; it's no use e-mailing them from the phone, because the EXIF-GPS data are stripped out. Something for Apple to fix! iPhone now includes "location awareness" for candid photography Aside: The "pick up or pay up" pavement graffiti is put down by the local council, using biodegradable spray paint. Despite such signs it's still a case of "eyes down" in our neighbourhood, as most ...

Australians consider invading New Zealand

Bruce — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 07:25:08 +0000

From http://www.bioneural.net :

But how would they sell the idea to the Aussie populace? These two marketing campaigns are worth a watch, and earned a mention in the New Zealand Herald. Do many Kiwis know there is provision in the Australian constitution for NZ to become a State of the Commonwealth? Watch out Ockers, we have bioweapons and these guys are good in a fight too.

Aussie location humour

Bruce — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 19:45:03 +0000

From http://www.bioneural.net :

Photos are sometimes turn out beautiful if you have the necessary skills and/or the luck. Sometimes they turn out rather ordinary, yet you still keep them because they tell a story about the life or habitat of the subject. Sometimes they raise more questions than they answer. Here are two images that raise questions about why people put things where they do. I'll let them speak for themselves. Crossing to nowhere, Nornalup National Park [sidewalk AWOL] Bench beside in Blackwood River, Augusta [bank at bottom left]

American Engrish

Bruce — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 08:11:04 +0000

From http://www.bioneural.net :

Do they no longer teach English in American schools? I am aware that "American" English has its nuances, but was not aware that it had diverged so far from international English as to become an entirely separate dialect. To illustrate my point, I'd like to share the text of an e-mail I recently received from a certain company's U.S. Networking Tech Support. Having recently bought a new ADSL modem, I noted that the same model on the company website looked completely different from my own. Model on the web (left), mine (right) I asked the company to explain the difference. Here's what they had to say: Thank you for contacting Xxx Technical Support. We understand that you are facing an issue with the ADSL 2+ Modem , as it does not looks alike the one which is there in the Website. We request you to, please check for the desire feature and try installing it. As some time the new product may be released with new look. If you face any difficulty in installing it, please revert to us, we will be glad to assist you. Bruce, if you need further assistance please feel free to write back to us and we will be happy to assist you. If you have any other questions or problems you may also call us toll free at xxx-xxx-xxxx (Extn. xxxx). Alternatively, call us on xxx xxx xxxx Ext. xxxx Regards, Tess Smith Xxx Technical Support I have removed the company name to protect the barely literate. I suspect the last two lines of the ...

A horse of a lens

Bruce — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 09:35:10 +0000

From http://www.bioneural.net :

The AF-S Zoom-Nikkor ED 18-200mm f/3.5-5.6G IF DX VR is a great lens (if you can find one). This isn't a review (for that, see here or here), but I'd like to share one aspect of user experience with you. My Nikon D70 includes a shoulder strap. Worn over the shoulder the 18-200mm lens naturally points downward, and the movement of walking is enough to cause to zoom to creep. The following image (obtained under strict laboratory conditions) visually explains why I have dubbed my new lens "the horse". The horse is excited by walking

Nuke 'em!

Bruce — Fri, 20 Jan 2006 11:51:32 +0000

From http://www.bioneural.net :

I'll not pretend this is ethical, or even entertaining. Morbidly fascinating? Perhaps. Maybe, in a fleeting moment of desire to resolve some of the world's problems, you've considered the value of deadly force (and are prepared to accept a little collateral damage). Maybe you're paranoid about the [insert name of intelligence agency] sending a cruise missile your way, homing in on your position by triangulating the signal from your mobile phone? Feeling a little aggrieved about your neighbours? Maybe you're just tired of feeling cold and damp (but remember to stand well back). This is the tool for you... What do you get when you combine Google Maps and Ajax with an author that has too much time on his hands in between writing CSS books? You get a High-Yield Detonation Effects Simulator: The above image shows the effect of a 100 kiloton nuke going off more-or-less in my backyard. Here's what might happen in each zone: Center: Complete destruction of reinforced concrete structures, such as skyscrapers, will occur within this ring. Between 7 psi and 15 psi, there will be severe to total damage to these types of structures; First ring: Complete destruction of ordinary houses, and moderate to severe damage to reinforced concrete structures, will occur within this ring; Second ring: Severe damage to ordinary houses, and light to moderate damage to reinforced concrete structures, will occur within this ring; Third ring: Light damage to all structures, and light to moderate damage to ordinary houses, will occur within this ring. Disclaimer: The author of this ...

The news caption that says it all

Bruce — Fri, 09 Sep 2005 14:17:54 +0000

From http://www.bioneural.net :

Are they really going to let this guy lead an inquiry into his own handling of the response to Hurricane Katrina? George Bush on Sky News

Amusing signs

Bruce — Mon, 02 May 2005 15:32:58 +0000

From http://www.bioneural.net :

Would you need a sign to tell you not to jump off a tower? Would you sell your house under a "real state" banner? Would you wonder if an airport sign on an Australian beach was a joke? Do you need a "beware of sand" warning in the Namib desert? Nyet: Things you cannot do in St Petersburg, Russia Real state: Real estate with a twist in Rhonda, Spain Bumpy landings: The airstrip on Frazer Island, Australia Sand!: Just in case you weren't expecting any, Namib desert, Namibia

Bugger!

Bruce — Sat, 23 Apr 2005 05:59:23 +0000

From http://www.bioneural.net :

According to the NZ English to US English dictionary, bugger all means "not much, very little". This is a rather limited reflection of common usage in New Zealand, since the word is highly flexible and covers a wide variety of situations to the relief of those with a small vocabulary. Do yourself a favour and watch Toyota's made-in-NZ bugger commercial (1.9 MB). There's some interesting background to the ad here. The following comic illustrates—with the help of a few non-Kiwi Peak District landmarks and animals—the versatility of the word bugger. "Usage of the word bugger" was made using Comic Life:

Reasons to install OS X Developer Tools

Bruce — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 19:29:27 +0000

From http://www.bioneural.net :

There are a number of reasons why you might want to install the Developer Tools that ship with Mac OS X on a separate CD-ROM. Here is one... Reason no. 1: Great interface examples The above is the default, but why not create your own using AppearanceSample? For example: Hours of fun, really. What more can I say?