The moving marvel. At least I think that's what it was called... the book responsible for an 11 year old boy determining to study medicine. My younger self made notes from this book and from others, in an exercise book I named "206 bones".
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206 bones (aged 11 yrs)
In 1979 my teacher (Mrs Kerr?) wrote:
If you can remember all this Bruce, you will certainly make it to Med. School and eventually a doctor.
Thirteen years later in 1992 I graduated, on this day (12 December). That was 14 years ago, so I've now been at it for longer than the time I spent working towards it. This date also marks, more or less, 13 years since I left New Zealand and began practicing in the UK. I recently returned to NZ on the pretext of finding out if the professional grass is any greener in my homeland. I felt some guilt about having left all those years ago, despite the unplanned nature of my extended absence. New Zealand continues to experience "brain drain" as graduates head abroad to gain experience, or export themselves to the higher bidders as skilled commodities.
Offsetting any feeling of guilt is the recollection of how difficult my internship was. I recall thinking that at the end of that year—if I survived it—I would have paid back my debt to society for training me. It may not be the perfect job, but a medical career has given me many opportunities and insights that I should be grateful for (although that doesn't mean I'd recommend it as a career choice). It feels good to be contributing my knowledge and experience on home soil once more, even though this means re-learning some things and un-learning others, in addition to new lessons. Stepping outside of one's usual "comfort zone" is unnerving yet invigorating at the same time.
In any career there are always regrets—like I should have paid more attention in lectures, done an ophthalmology rotation, or worked in A&E (ED). But with the application of the retrospectoscope, who doesn't wish this or that could have been different? While we can't change the past, we can use it to shape the future. It's a healthy thing to reflect on who you were, who you are, and where you are going—if you do it from time-to-time. Get too reflective, and you can readily forget to live in the present. I for one have spent too much effort worrying over things that may never come to be; in this I know I am not alone. My challenge is to remember that in 14 years of practice I've done OK; nothing really bad has happened (I hope it stays that way). I'm going to try and worry less, because worry won't change the future and it will only cloud the present.
In looking back, one regret that I could do something about is that I haven't maintained contact with any of my classmates (Otago Medical School, graduating class of 1992). Are any of you out there? Just curious...
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Class of '92, Otago Medical School
Congratulations on your 14 years of practice !
I have recollections of talking with you during your time of training.
It takes guts and determination to deal with hard and stressful times.
Sometimes it just takes a bloody-minded decision not to damn well give in.
It's something to be truly proud of.
Thanks Lynn :-)